I was listening to a podcast today from someone who realized they were living the fairy tale, but it wasn’t the one, or the way, she had imagined it. I laughed. I too am “living the dream” but whose?
I live in the Caribbean and I know that is supposed to be a dream for a lot of people. It is warm island breezes and gentle ocean waves. I have a beautiful view of the sea, and the beach is a short walk away. There are coconuts and rum.
I live on what is called “the Nature Island.” It is not a touristy, umbrella-drink, flat, beachy island. It is rugged. It is said to have 9 active volcanoes. Not erupting, but creating hot springs and champagne bubbles in the water and a boiling lake in the middle of the island which is the second largest in the world. There are lovely places to be on the island.
I was going to try to talk about living here without bringing up tropical storm Erika, but it’s almost impossible. Before Erika, the grocery store wasn’t too bad and there was the market, like a farmer’s market. Now the shelves are very bare at the store and the price of tomatoes sky rocketed and lettuce is rare. It’s been almost six months and those wonderful fresh foods that were so abundant are often scarce. I am grateful we are seeing eggs more often. I haven’t acquired the skill or taste for the island version of yams, taro and such, but I tried.
So, here is living in the “dream.” The mosquitoes are not the obnoxious little guys that ruin your evenings out, those are the nicer ones. It’s the ones that breed in the closets and come out during the day that are more dangerous. All are year round, but worse in rainy season, which is about 8 months of the year, though for tourist promotion, it is listed at less. So the ‘evening out annoyance’ becomes the daily duel.
Well, that’s enough. I could go on with the parts that are not part of my dream. But then I don’t remember wanting to live here. I will admit for a few months, it was okay, I even liked it most of the time and I was fascinated with the new experience. Now, I am tired of being hot. Tired of slapping myself constantly to fend off the bugs. Tired of the water problems – for the past 3 weeks it has gone off almost nightly and a couple of times during the day. Fed up with trying to figure out what’s for dinner based on what’s available in the store today and putting food on the table that I normally wouldn’t. You may think “so the water went off, no big deal.” We had only a trickle of water for a month, not enough to trigger the hot water system. It was another month, after the water came on, before we quit running outside with all the buckets and pans when it rained. An occasional outage is annoying, but the ongoing gets depressing.
As with many things during this adventure, I am diving deep within. This is not my dream. I came to assist my daughter in fulfilling her dream. I was naive about living in a third world country. I try to focus on the great but not live in denial of the situation. I find when we try too hard to shut out a part of life, we loose the vision, the symphony of living. On the very practical side, I was in a tight box of trying to maintain a positive attitude and missed some solutions.
The dream is to be able to live as a Light, as a channel for good. This has been an incredible opportunity to learn more about conditioning, about rules and boundaries, about the human spirit. I am looking forward to being back in the States. In the meantime, I am growing in Spirit. I am appreciating the beauty. I am peeling away conditioning and thoughts/dreams to find me and mine. I ask Guidance every step. I look for how I can serve from who I am. And I am grateful.